第十七章-违心(2/2)

容嫣在心里默数了五十九秒，耳膜被尖锐的喇叭声震得吃痛，可这个爱了五年的人却依旧默不成声，她并不愿意用这五十九秒去定夺五年的心意，可洛屿的反应让她实在心灰意冷，“看来我们不顺路了”，她用最迅速的动作收整好衣着，背过身顺着人群走下去，不说再见的告别是没有感情的，也许，他们之间的感情早就结束了

他注视着眼前泪光泛滥的容嫣，一如从前般所爱的温柔灿烂，“可是没有我又怎么样呢，你肯来找我见我吗，还是说等我回来后与你再次相遇，却从你口中听到和别人订婚的消息，原来这就是你口中的爱啊”

于是她又转而询问村民洛屿的去向，尽管每个人的回答五花八门，手指的方向东西南北，这让她奔跑相走时也会格外留意其他街道，现在她的心里全然没有了适才般的意懒心灰，人类本能的应急反应要远远超过节外生枝的个人感情

他替人拂去碎乱的头发，而后认真开口，“相比于违心地伤害你，我更想回答你我也爱你”，相比于违心，原来真心相待才是他最想摸索的答案

尒説 影視：ρ○①⑧.αrt「Рo1⒏аrt」

“那你让我走个后门吧”，洛屿饶有兴致地弯下身，与她平齐视线后将目光对准那娇红的嘴唇，轻轻吻上去，带着讨好和细腻，“好吗，姐姐”

洛屿笑了，笑得坦荡又刺眼，犹如万箭齐发刺向她的心脏，“那你有来找过我吗”，她的眼泪夺眶而出，“我为什么不找你难道你不明白吗，我伤害了你，又卑微地渴求得到你的原谅，可你呢，你却是头也不回地离开了，洛屿”，她喃喃自语，“我就算再可耻，也是有自尊心的啊”

“累不累”

路途已近山底，不远处传来阵阵敲锣打鼓声，她顺着看过去，是当地村民的集会活动，那喧闹愈发靠近，人群的声音逐渐将他们两人的氛围吞没，看来这终将是一场无疾而终的对话，她将眼泪抹去，吸了吸鼻子，“全在说我了，我却没得到一个你的回答”

她任由着洛屿拉起自己的手，这也是时隔五年他们再次牵手，“你又走错路了吗”，他拿出纸巾侧身为她擦去额头渗出的细汗，仿佛忘却刚才的不愉悦般温柔地问着

面对洛屿的直截了当，倒让她有些措手不及，“你，你后悔什么了”

她被质问地骤不及防，心里一方面愤怒洛屿对她的嘲讽，一方面震惊于在他提问的几秒钟，她的眼前竟然毫无预兆地闪现过另一个人的脸

“你问我是爱你还是只享受伤害你的恶趣味”，说到这里她有些哽咽，“你扪心自问，你感受到的到底是什么”

“这五年，我曾反复强迫自己走出这段感情，也曾欺骗自己没有谁会离不开谁，可是无论我怎么试图挣脱，都做不到真正放下你，我会在醒来的每一天发疯般想起之前的回忆，说来好笑，洛屿”，她看着曾经的恋人，“明明我们在一起的时间还不及人生的须弥，怎么你离开后我却觉得失去了全部呢”

“嗯”，她大方承认

“容嫣！”，她回过头，身上是因奔跑散发的燥热，头顶是微弱的路灯，她听见自己疲惫的喘息声，看着远处的路口正朝自己走近的少年，对，此刻的洛屿像极了她爱的少年，她不可抑制地认这般矛盾认知在头脑中膨胀壮大，直到他又再次站在自己眼前，理性也好感性也罢，尽数丢在脑后罢，她再也不想什么天长地久，原来只是见到他就能让人如此开心啊

“可惜了，你晚了一步”，她双手交叉环胸，“我这里可不是想来就来想走就走的”

舞队的人群摩肩接踵，她挤在缝隙中艰难寸行，只是每一步都像踩在棉花上，每一步都让心坠入深底，漫无目的，毫无情绪，记忆的囚笼将梦靥释放，她的四周侵润着寒瑟湿冷，突然一记低沉有力的鼓声将她从深渊处唤醒，抬起头却发现这一切竟意外地陌生

“我才不管之前”，她耍起小脾气来，“你怎么想着要来找我”

走错路了，不知是哪个拐口也不知是哪条林荫，让她来到这般生疏的境地，容嫣试着和过往的村民交流，可是得到的答案带着简单的肢体语言和加密的方言，一番努力后她决定放弃，可当她拿出手机准备自救时却只能戏剧性地看着映出面容的黑屏，两条路被堵死，她望着脚下的第叁条路，只好原路返回地再作一搏

已经试了五条路口，每次都没有如愿回到最初的道路，容嫣的心里有些焦急，天色渐晚，她开始担心这样下去会不会迷失在此，与之同时的她想到了洛屿，虽然刚刚他们还不欢而散，可是现在她唯一的希望却是再次见到他

“我最后再问你，洛屿”，汹涌热闹的人群在他们身旁吵闹着经过，她顺势提高音量，“如果你也爱着我，为什么从不来找过我”

的鱼刺，任其搁置便会腐朽糜烂，可拔出来又会汩汩鲜血随之流淌，总而言之都会受伤，那不妨最深层次地将程度放大，反正她只想得到答案，无论什么答案，只要洛屿亲口告诉她便心满意足

“因为我后悔了”

“好，那我来回答你”，风吹大了，头发胡乱地散在脸上，落日正对她的视线，可她却觉得此刻的洛屿要比太阳还遥远

“累”，光累还不够，她的嗓子也干得冒烟，“我喊你的时候听见了吗”

本章已阅读完毕(请点击下一章继续阅读!)

可对方并没有回答，反而开口问她，“你呢，你对我又是什么情感，是爱还是只想重温肆无忌惮伤害别人的恶趣味”

“听见了”，他把擦完的纸放进口袋里，“这种习惯还没改掉啊”

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