第十一章 别忘了北京城寂寞的角落里野胖子也能有春天(2/5)

千言万语,最后却只是苦笑了一下,给自己满上一杯,端起来又要喝。本来我有一肚子气,想发火来着,但看爸这态度,我把爸的酒杯抢过来,也想一口干,但太久不喝白的了,又呛着了。妈有点生气,“你们爷俩干嘛呢!说话啊!”擦了擦嘴,我看着爸说,“我真谢谢您!您今天特让我有自信,本来,我觉得人家这种人上人,配我太富余了,但您今天这态度,我明白了,肯定是他配不上我啊,要不然您也不能这么甩脸子。杨馥源那样的不行,郝泽宇这样的也不行,我发现了,只要是个男的,您都不满意,您到底想怎么样啊?您说啊!”爸抹抹脸,慢慢悠悠地说:“你让我说什么?说什么,都里外不是人。”他拿起酒瓶,咕咚咕咚灌了几口,摇摇晃晃回屋了。我急了,站起身,“妈!你看看你男人!太欺负人了,好歹骂几句啊!连骂都懒得骂了!郝泽宇有那么差吗?”妈瞪我,“先看你男人吧!门口刚有个人影晃过去,别再是他听见给跑了。”这个时候,才感受到我妈的雄韬伟略。她接着下指示,“我管你爸,你管他。赶紧出去找他,他是客,不能让客人就这么跑了。”我起身就往外跑,到门口,又折了回来——妈嘴里的这个“客”字,太让人心惊肉跳。我瞪着妈,“那貂大衣,您要真喜欢,我给您。”“哟,收买我呢!”“妈……”我跺脚,“您给我个准信儿。”准信儿当然不是那件貂皮大衣。妈太懂我了,“鱼找鱼虾找虾,他这大龙虾非要找你这小虾米,就是眼瞎,但我不歧视残疾人。”我一出大院门口,就碰到郝泽宇了。他蹲在那儿抽烟呢,看着他脚下一地烟头,我放下心来,妈刚才应该眼花了,他应该一直在这儿抽烟。他抬头看我,眼神跟小狗一样,“聊完了?”本来我攒了一肚子台词来忽悠他,但看他脸上挂着的淡淡的笑,我想插科打诨都不知道在哪儿下嘴,干脆夺过他嘴里的烟,蹲下抽了起来。我俩看上去感觉很像是并排在公厕拉屎的邻居。他反而安慰我,“没事儿。”“你知道是什么事,就说没事儿?”我没好气。“我心里反而踏实了,要不然咱俩这也太顺利了,都不像是真的。”他伸手揽住我,“只要你喜欢我就行了,说实话,我一直都不相信别人会爱上我……”就听不惯他说这丧词儿,“我还不相信别人会爱上我呢!……哎,你老蹭我干嘛?”我穿个破羽绒服,鼓鼓囊囊的,跟肉山一样,郝泽宇够不着我的肩头。郝泽宇真心地笑了,“瞧你胖的。”今晚,这个胖,听上去特刺耳,“谁胖了!”“我胖,我是大胖子还不行啊。”他掐掐我的脸蛋。我打他手,“我问你啊,你是不是有奇怪的癖好,专门喜欢胖女孩。”他翻白眼,手指着自己眼睛,“听你说这话,我眼皮都快翻脱臼了。”我生气,“别打岔,快说,你是不是喜欢胖子?”他收敛了笑意,说:“我不喜欢胖子,但我喜欢你。”回去后,我俩神色恢复平常,妈也显得很自然,“哎呀,老福喝了两盅,上头了!回屋睡觉去了,来,阿姨陪你喝点。”妈表现不错,做了一个未来丈母娘应该做的事情:喝酒时顺势把他家底儿摸了一遍,让这场面显得正式一点。过了十二点,把郝泽宇送走,他上车前,我俩握了一会儿手,跟互相输送元气似的,一方面是因为热恋,另一方面是我俩心中皆有忐忑。回家后,我面对妈,无语凝噎,百感交集,终于挤出一句,“妈,谢谢您。”“甭谢我,你得谢那貂。”〔三〕大年初一,按理要去爷爷奶奶那边拜年,我不想去,又不能不去,要不爸太没面子了,因为妈可不去拜年。我们老福家现在还保持着满清遗老遗少的风采,过年讲究忒多。爷爷奶奶在世的时候,不知道的还以为一群精神病在演清宫戏呢。他们穷而有傲骨,通婚最起码也得是镶黄旗,因此我妈这一个劳苦大众出身的,颇不受老福家待见,爸为了跟妈结婚,主动放弃了房产,年三十也不回那边过。当然遗产也没什么,就是一个破四合院的一小间。几个叔叔姑姑都住邻对门,下一代表姐堂兄有了孩子,也过来蹭住,生怕将来拆迁,谁家多占了几厘米的便宜。妈为了爸的面子,大年初一少不了过来忍一天。后来姥姥过世,爸那边都没人过问,妈打从那年开始,就不来拜年了。但今年怪了,妈竟然主动说要过去。今儿气温都零上了,一路上,穿貂的妈一直淌汗,脸上的粉一道一道的,我忍不住说,“您至于吗?”后来见到我那些叔叔婶婶的表情,我明白了,太至于了。见面时,各位亲戚正在请安行大礼呢,二位姑姑更是夸张,交换搭着手,膝盖一屈,相互说着姐姐妹妹过年好啊,跟《甄嬛传》里妃子相见似的。妈笑说:“我也不懂这老理儿,就不跟你们演《甄嬛传》了。”妈那身貂皮大衣,特扎眼。二姑上下打量,冷笑,“您这一身,可不敢让您行礼。”三姑说道,“阔啊,穿貂啦!”“大福子给买的,”貂跟长在妈身上似的,她仿佛在摸着自己的毛,“我不要,非要买,今年赚几个钱就不知道该怎么花了。”妈总算扬眉吐气了。如此出息的我,跪在地上,说着过年好啊大娘大爷叔叔婶婶姑姑姑父。大伯说我礼数不周全,为了压岁钱,我忍。“阿牟其、阿牟、姑爸爸、窝克……”这几句满语称呼,格格我就不给诸位平民百姓翻译了,“祝您们万事如意,永保安康!”最后这一句,我直接喊出播音腔来。好在大清朝早被推翻了,当格格可真累。接下来是压岁钱环节,二姑拦住了众人,“压岁钱不用了,她是订过亲的人了。”堂弟忍不住说:“不是又吹了吗?”“那也算。”二姑说虽然不给压岁钱了,但给我保个大媒。她从手机里翻出一黑胖子照片,说这是爱新觉罗家的曾孙,干城管的,虽然是二婚,但我

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