第101章(2/2)

“父亲。”我依循礼数微微躬身,语气恭敬却疏离的没有任何温度。

但我清楚的明白,我永远无法像她一样。母亲的路是她自己走的,而我的路是我自己该走的。

不是承诺也不是认同,只是不想再同他多说些什么。

他似乎完全不在意我的冷淡,上前一步试图营造一种父子情深的氛围,笑着说道:“既然回来了,今晚就别急着走了吧?我们父子俩许久未见,正好好好谈谈心说说话。”

我抬起眼平静地打量着他,岁月似乎格外优待他,只在他眼角添了几道细纹,面容依旧透着长期养尊处优的红润光泽。

然而刚走出主院,还没到门口就看到一辆熟悉的悬浮车,正静静地停在大门不远处,下一秒车门打开一个修长身影迈步下来……是知桓。

距离上一次见到他,似乎已经过了很久。他看起来比记忆中憔悴了许多,眼下带着淡淡的青黑,曾经那双总是蕴着温柔假面的眼眸,此刻只剩下毫不掩饰的冰冷和疏离,像蒙上了一层化不开的寒霜,他就那样站在那里冷漠地看着我。

我心中涌起一股巨大的悲哀和难过。

良久……在他期待的目光中我终是垂下眼睫,掩去眸中的所有情绪,淡淡地吐出一个字:“好。”

我没有反驳她,只是垂下眼睫遮掩住眸中翻涌的情绪,轻声应道:“知道了。”

他看到我的那一刹那,脸上瞬间闪过一丝极其不自然的僵硬,但那表情转瞬即逝,快得几乎让人以为是错觉。随即,他脸上迅速堆起了一种我从未在他对我时见过的近乎殷切的温柔笑容,“哎呀,小予,你回来怎么也不提前打声招呼?父亲也好安排人为你接风洗尘。”

想到这些年他对我的漠视嫌恶,甚至在家族利益面前毫不犹豫的舍弃,我实在不知道……他是如何能如此自然地扮演起慈父角色,仿佛那些伤害从未发生。

我听着这番话,看着他眼中毫不掩饰的利用和期待,只觉得无比讽刺。

尽管我心知他对我恐怕只有厌恶,但我还是依循着礼数,微微冲他笑了笑点了点头,算是行过礼。

做完这一切后我才怀着沉重又略带解脱的心情,走向知家大门准备离开。

我原以为他是不愿意同我多说什么的,谁知道他却悄然开口:“你知道我最讨厌的是你的哪一点吗?”

“不了,父亲。”我直接打断了他虚假的温情,语气平稳的搬出了最有效的挡箭牌,“来时陛下特意嘱咐过,要我今日务必回去。”

最看重的孩子?就是那个因为没有信息素就被毫不留情的丢弃的孩子吗?

下被带回宫中的波折,不过不知道也好……何必让她徒增忧惧。

可她又从这份奉献和隐忍中真正获得了什么呢?是丈夫的敬重?还是家族长久的安稳?可父亲并不敬重她,知家也不会长盛不衰的。更何况她如今躺在这病榻之上,陪伴她的似乎也只有这满室的药香和无法言说的寂寥。

刚带上房门一转身,便迎面撞上了正朝这边走来的知乔宇……我的父亲。

我看着躺在病床上脸色苍白气息奄奄的oga,她这一生何尝不正是恪守着这套法则?以父亲的利益为先,以知家的家族荣辱为重,将自己所有的喜怒哀乐个人意志都深深埋藏,扮演着一个完美的主母角色。

果然,一提到赵鹤州知乔宇脸上的笑容微微一僵,眼底掠过一丝忌惮和算计,但他调整得极快,那副“慈父”面具立刻又重新戴上,甚至还带上了一丝与有荣焉的意味:“陛下如此看重你,是你的福气,也是我们知家的荣耀!”

他语重心长地看着我,仿佛真的在谆谆教导,“小予啊,你要记住,你永远是知家最看重最寄予厚望的孩子,如今你在陛下身边,知家的未来和重担,可就都压在你身上了……”

母亲又渐渐地昏睡了过去,我又在病床边守候了片刻,看着她呼吸微弱而平稳的熟睡之后,我才轻手轻脚地退出了病房。

听到我的回答,母亲似乎稍稍安心,但那双看尽世情的眼睛里,忧虑并未完全散去。她反手用力握了握我的手,看着我一字一句喃喃般地告诫,像是要将这生存法则刻进我的脑海里:“小宝,你要记住……和陛下先是君臣再是爱人。”她怔怔的看着我,喘息了一下继续道,“无论何时……都要以陛下的利益为先,以帝国的安稳为重……这才是你的本分,也是你的生存之道。”

告别了父亲那令人窒息的虚伪关怀,我找到老管家,仔细叮嘱他务必好好照顾母亲,若病情有任何变化一定要及时通知我。

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