第61章(2/2)

邓莹悠闲地在最后一分钟里喝完了这一杯水,把杯子放窗台上,轻声道:“不过很久没看他穿亮色了。”

“会。”谢绥抑承认,“后悔更多。”他艰难地吐词,“还有心疼。”

“善良,感情丰富,很会爱人。”

“你觉得况嘉一是一个什么样的人?”邓莹突然问他。

谢绥抑摇摇头,做好了被指责,被批判的准备。但邓莹又温和地告诉他,况嘉一依赖他。

邓莹看向谢绥抑,“他其实也想要一份依赖。”

谢绥抑生涩地嗯了一声,况嘉一会放手,会分开。

邓莹似是笑了,她扶着轮椅想坐上去,谢绥抑快步走过来帮她,邓莹由他搀着,坐在轮椅上,慢慢地把自己推到窗边。

“这样的人他其实不喜欢太吵闹的爱。”

邓莹说:“没见到你之前,或者说还不知道况嘉一喜欢你之前,我一直没办法想象他另一半的样子,想了很多种性格,总觉得不搭,直到刚刚,他走之前看了你一眼,我好像就知道了。”

“很多事情他一拍脑袋就做了,就像当年你们读书,他帮你找的驿站的工作,也是自己一想一做就去了。我那时就想但凡问问我呢,我又不是那种不开明的家长。”

“别谢。”邓莹抬手,“一码归一码,我是这么说不代表我完全不介怀当年的事,但我也不想让我儿子难做。”

“他可能没想到。”谢绥抑说。

“嗯,”谢绥抑和况嘉一不同,况嘉一听到谢绥抑不用帮忙,他便不再上前一步。而谢绥抑听到况嘉一不需要,他只会表面答应,然后暗地里把能做的都做了,不让况嘉一知道,就不算他帮。

他露出一个被看穿了的笑。

谢绥抑倏然抬眼。

“是因为小时候需要我的时候我总是不在,他被迫自己解决了很多问题。所以他已经习惯,有问题自己想办法解决。”

但她忘了谢绥抑年纪也只有这么大,谢绥抑只是不幸地生在一个烂掉的家庭里,拥有十多年的烂经历,抛开这一切,谢绥抑不算一个坏孩子。

“不要告诉况嘉一。”谢绥抑请求,“他说不需要我帮忙。”

这次谢绥抑没办法再帮况嘉一说话,他安静地听着。

“你要是觉得亏欠去弥补,这是可以的。但如果你们发生矛盾,你因为亏欠去容忍。”邓莹侧目看了眼谢绥抑,“忍多了容易生怨,感情里怨多了,它就碎了,就不好看了。”

谢绥抑还是想谢谢她,邓莹抬下巴,示意桌子上的水,谢绥抑递上,邓莹接过啜饮一口,问:“况嘉一身上那方块毛衣你给买的?”

“你觉得亏欠吗?”邓莹问谢绥抑,“况嘉一去找你而受伤的事?”

那一刻,邓莹才恍然意识到,谢绥抑也才二十多岁,和况嘉一一样大。她把况嘉一当孩子护着,以家长的姿态与谢绥抑对峙,而谢绥抑承受了这一切。

“如果你真的开始容忍,这份依赖对况嘉一来说也不再稳固,而且他会难过,因为他觉得你忍得难受,他不想你难受,也不想要你们的感情变得难看。如果真走到这一步,你知道况嘉一会怎么做吧?”

窗外的月亮又圆了,这是邓莹在医院看的第九个圆月了,看它从月牙变成圆饼,又从圆饼退成月牙。

“但你还是帮了。”

谢绥抑静了几秒,答:“他喜欢。”

谢绥抑反应过来,眼里的情绪变了又变,说,“我知道了,我会改。”

“再往前。我手术后的主治医生似乎也换了,但听说那个医生今年都不接病人了。”邓莹直视过去,“我比较好奇,这里面有你的帮忙吗?”

“谢谢阿姨。”谢绥抑说。

“他说不需要,是因为他已经习惯自己解决了,而你不告诉他,由他自以为习惯地解决下去。”邓莹说,“我不觉得你这样能照顾好他。”

sp; 谢绥抑听起来很熟悉医院各项章程,邓莹若有所思地点头,“我前几天和她们聊天,这一楼的病房很难排,几乎没有空位。但况嘉一说他很顺利就办完了。”

谢绥抑的目光不躲也不闪,邓莹问得太直白了,谢绥抑在她近似逼问的气势里沉默了几秒,眼睫忽然垂落下去,又抬起。

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邓莹摇了摇头,“他爸爸离开得很早,我那时候又忙,给了他很少的陪伴和很大的自由,他在这样的环境里好像长成了一个性格很好的人,但他太独立了。”

“是不是没想到我会跟你说这些?”

“丑死了。”邓莹小声嫌弃,墙上的秒钟一格一格转动,还有一分钟就满半小时了,不出意外的话况嘉一应该会在满点的那一刻进来。

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